Understanding Relational Trauma: A Deep Dive into Emotional Wounds

Life throws us a lot of trauma, affecting our mental health and wellness. Understanding relational trauma can be an important consideration for many. 

Relational trauma is a mental health condition that often goes unnoticed and is caused by personal relationships. But what exactly is relational trauma, and how does it affect us?



Let's explore this complex trauma and its influence on our lives.

Defining Relational Trauma

Relational trauma happens when harmful experiences occur within personal relationships, like with parents, caregivers, or partners, and it causes emotional wounds. We're not talking about one-time traumas here but rather distressing interactions that leave you helpless and alone.

This type of trauma often involves ongoing instances of physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse, which can create an environment of fear and pain (1).

Relational Trauma Throughout Life

Relational trauma usually begins with childhood trauma, including chronic experiences of neglect or abuse and adverse childhood experiences that leave lasting emotional scars. Childhood experiences with caregivers can impact our adult relationships, leading to various mental health issues.

As adults, relational trauma shows up in our lives as unhealthy relationships. We might experience emotional ups and downs and encounter manipulative behavior. These experiences often lead to avoidant patterns, where we distance ourselves from close relationships because we fear going through the same trauma again.

Mental Health

Relational trauma plays a role in mental health disorders like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), borderline personality disorder, and other personality disorders. It can even cause developmental delays in children, leading to substance abuse or other unhealthy coping mechanisms in adults (3).

The Aftermath of Relational Trauma

The consequences of relational trauma can impact our physical health as well. It's common to manifest as digestive and other physical health problems, showing how our mental and physical well-being are intertwined.

Relational trauma can also affect our ability to form secure attachment relationships—which is essential for interpersonal connections. The fear of intimacy and negative experiences can make it harder to establish meaningful relationships and have a fulfilling social life.

Recovery

Healing from relational trauma involves acknowledging the unhealed trauma and seeking the help of a mental health professional. Therapeutic approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, family therapy, and somatic psychotherapy are effective treatment modalities (5).

Therapy can help process traumatic experiences, foster healthier behavior patterns, and build healthy relationships. Sometimes, medications are a consideration to manage symptoms like major depression or intense bouts of sadness.

Having a safe space and participating in regular social activities can be important for recovery. Adding a creative hobby or regular exercise can also improve mental health and daily life.

Understanding Relational Trauma: A Recap

To heal, understanding and acknowledging relational trauma is important.

While some may have heard of conditions such as post-traumatic stress syndrome, relational trauma is a new term for many. And sometimes, people are unaware of the deep emotional wounds relational trauma has caused them or how relational trauma has a profound impact on their relationships and mental health. 

Seeking help is the key. Please know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness or failure. Instead, it is a powerful, proactive move toward your happiness and peace of mind. 



Haven Counseling can help you or a loved one reclaim happiness and have healthier, more sustainable relationships.

We're here for you. Let's begin.

References:

1. Herman, J. L. (1992). Complex PTSD: A syndrome in survivors of prolonged and repeated trauma. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 5(3), 377–391.


2. Cloitre M, et al. (2011). Treatment of complex PTSD: Results of the ISTSS expert clinician survey on best practices. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 24(6), 615–627.


3. Van der Kolk B. A. (2005). Developmental trauma disorder: Towards a rational diagnosis for children with complex trauma histories. Psychiatric Annals, 35(5), 401–408.


4. Ford J. D., & Courtois C. A. (2009). Defining and understanding complex trauma and complex traumatic stress disorders. In C. A. Courtois & J. D. Ford (Eds.), Treating complex traumatic stress disorders: An evidence-based guide. The Guilford Press.


5. Shapiro F. (2001). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.


6. Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.


7. Courtois, C. A., & Ford, J. D. (Eds.). (2009). Treating complex traumatic stress disorders (adults): Scientific foundations and therapeutic models. The Guilford Press.


8. Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, D., Williamson, D. F., Spitz, A. M., Edwards, V., Koss, M. P., & Marks, J. S. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), 245–258.